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Celebricate! - Your Weekly Gossip Roundup (Week of Oct. 12, 2020)

Most of us "normals" are still on lockdown, cowering under our afghans trying to avoid a potentially deadly illness. But celebs? They are definitely not like us, no matter how desperately US Weekly wants to convince you otherwise. In fact, they're living La Dolce Vita, busier than ever. Here's what's up:

* Lily James and Dominic West are definitely not having an affair, okay?! After getting caught canoodling all over Rome, Dominic scurried home to convince his wife, Catherine Fitzgerald, that the racy pics were all for show. In addition, Lily sweetly called Catherine to confirm Dominic's story. Because nothing is kinder than colluding to gaslight the spouse you just cheated on! I don't know about you, but I certainly feel better. As if that wasn't enough, Dominic and Catherine held a photocall for the paparazzi in front of their elegant castle and then pinned a handwritten note to the wrought-iron gate, claiming their "marriage is strong." Well, I am convinced then. Nothing to see here. In other news - there're totally tons of things to see here! And, as someone who hasn't left her house in 6 months, I want to thank you because I've grown bored of BenAna. Bring me the gossip, DomLil!

* In other DomLil goodies, E! "News" doesn't give their readers enough credit to know what Roman Holiday is, instead choosing to refer to their sightseeing with this:

[And if their weekend getaway wasn't romantic enough, the eyewitness says Lily and Dominic rode around Rome on an electric scooter, à la Lizzie and Paolo inThe Lizzie McGuire Movie.]

They say "you get the face you deserve." The same must apply when tawdry affair meets analogy.

* Bella Hadid might've finally moved on from the Weeknd, as she's been spotted out (of course out!) with a new dude that this writer claims looks like John Mayer:

Um, I personally don't see it. I'm not going to say what I see, but it's not JM. And I'm not even a fan of John's. But I know you want the tea, so here it is: this is Duke Nicholson, grandson of Jack. It doesn't really matter - genes elevate genes, and here we are. That said, this is the only John Mayer that I acknowledge:

* Finally, I, along with most Netlix subscribers desperate to escape life's current realities, have been "hate-watching" Emily in Paris. Emily is a real asshole. I was worried it was just me being crusty, but I'm not alone in my judgement. Yay, validation! I was going to write more about it, but then I found this Slate article and it's perfect, so please read it if you want to know why Emily is so wrong that it's right.

That's it, for now. Stay safe out there, kids. And wear your damn masks! Until next time. xo


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