And the band played on! Last week found Ted Cruz sneaking off for a vacay in the middle of his state’s weather emergency. This week finds a little bit of Mexico on his lawn. Just like Ted, karma is a bitch. Let’s get into it!
* The Golden Globes are this Sunday (Feb. 28th) and, per usual, they’re arriving with a fair amount of drama brewing behind the scenes. If you’ve followed the awards show, you know frequent host Ricky Gervais has been flipping the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (HFPA) some serious shit for most of his tenure with his blatant teasing of the shady organization. And, it turns out, he was right all along! Allegations have come to light against HFPA, featuring both bribery and racism. And it looks like that’s just the beginning.
First up: did Netflix’s Emily in Paris buy itself a nomination? All signs point to yes! Critics and fans alike did watch the show – there’s no denying that – but it was mainly skewered and those who viewed it were mostly doing so out of spite. I can count myself in the hate-watch group. It was bad! Each episode felt like a dare: how cluelessly Caucasian-centric, classist/elitist, tone-deaf could it be? (Very! The answer is very, and jaw-droppingly so.) Needless to say, it was something of a shock to find the series nominated for a Golden Globe. Well, not long after, it was revealed that voting members of the HFPA received a luxurious trip to Paris to visit the show's set, complete with fancy meals and high-end hotel accommodations, courtesy of – you guessed it – Paramount Network, the developers of Emily in Paris. One member went on record, saying,
“They treated us like kings and queens.”
Marie Antoinette would approve! Perhaps in years past the nomination would’ve slipped in unnoticed, but there’s been a slew of award-worthy shows during the pandemic and we’ve been trapped at home to watch them all. When Emily got the nod and the stunning, I May Destroy You did not, people noticed. Will it all shake down at the podium this weekend? Stay tuned! Meanwhile the notoriously drunky ceremony should be very entertaining this year...
As if that wasn’t enough, the makeup of the voting committee has come under fire after it was revealed that there are zero Black members within the organization. The widely-known exclusion was noted on Twitter by celebrated director, Ava DuVernay. The tightknit group, comprised of 87 very secretive people, has yet to release a statement to address either allegation. Here’s hoping fast-acting changes are in the works now that their shameful practices have been brought to light. I will keep you posted as things develop. (The New York Times reports the group is sitting on $55 million in cash. I have a few ideas on how they can spend it!
* It's time for more Ted Talk! (Sorry, I had to.) You might remember when snow hit Texas in a major way, leaving the state in chaos with thousands upon thousands of residents without power, heat, and, in some cases, even clean water. Yeah, it was kind of a big deal. So, naturally Republican senator Ted Cruz needed to take a load off, amid all the stress. After all his mansion was super cold too, you guys! Naturally the solution was to head to Cancun for a quick warm up at a super affordable resort, where rooms were “only” $309 a night. Well, the heat did kick on – but it wasn’t the furnace kind. When word got out about Cancun Cruz’s callous decision a firestorm of indignation ignited on Twitter, forcing Cruz to cut his trip short. When confronted by the media upon landing, Ted had a scapegoat ready, offering up his daughters as sacrifice. Cruz claims it was actually his children who wanted to go to Cancun – he was merely “dropping them off for a playdate” in order to “be a good dad.” I don’t know about you, but I am officially dizzy from this spin!
Brace yourselves, because it turns out Ted’s 10 and 12-year old girls might not have been the ones deciding to take the trip (gee, ya think?). The New York Times magically obtained texts from a thread between the Cruz family and several neighboring pals who all agreed to head down South – without any input from the kiddos. It’s said that Ted’s wife, Heidi, is “pretty pissed” about the leak. She can manage Goldman Sachs, but she can’t manage a neighborhood text chain. Just an fyi, if you’re wondering what’s going on with your investments!
Meanwhile, a mariachi band took up residence on the Cruz lawn on Sunday, in a bid to welcome the disgraced politician home. Fellow Texan, Adam Jama, set up a GoFundMe page to hire the band, with additional proceeds being donated to the Texas Children’s Hospital. Adam says,
“Senator Cruz, being an amazing dad, dropped off his family in Cancun in the middle of a major crisis and came back to Texas to continue serving his constituents. We want to thank Senator Cruz for his leadership and pay for an amazing Mariachi band to perform for him. No one should go to Cancun and not listen to Mariachi.”
What happens in Mexico doesn’t always stay in Mexico, but hopefully it will find Ted out of a job, come the next election!
* In “OMG, finally/Who cares?!” news: Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from Kanye West after seven years of “marriage.” (Or, as a friend of mine once termed it, “marriage-lite.”) Kim has been threatening the action for years, with split speculations ramping up throughout 2020. I, for one, am frankly sick of hearing about it. Whatever you’re going to do, please just do it. In the meantime, stop pretending like these never-ending “leaks” contain actual information. You love to be in the news. We get it! Meanwhile, Kanye is said to be struggling, concerned that his failed presidential run may be the cause. Gee, do you think aligning yourself with a white supremacist openly bidding to turn dictator might not be good for a marriage? It would certainly be a deal-breaker for me!
* The buildup continues for the Sex & The City reboot, coming soon to HBO Max. The series is morphing into a 10-part follow-up called And Just Like That... featuring Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte. (Noticeably, and very vocally absent, is the much-loved Samantha.) Also missing? The notorious Mr. Big and possibly Steve, Miranda’s adorable puppy dog husband. Say it isn’t so! I demand a refund. But, hang on – don’t toss that Cosmo in the face of your frenemy quite yet. Chris Noth (aka Mr. Big) is teasing not count him out quite yet. Let’s hope David Eigenberg (Steve) follows suit. These are my Avengers, so let’s assemble! I will not accept “failed salary negotiations” as an excuse for any no-shows. This is HBO Max. You have the money. Make it happen.
* The Boss got arrested on a DUI but it’s Tiger who’s in trouble. Bruce Springsteen was arrested on drunk driving charges after the Super Bowl. The charges were formally dropped this week. (The questionable arrest comes on the heels of Springsteen performing at the *glorious* inauguration of President Biden. Coincidence or conspiracy? Just saying.) Meanwhile, Tiger Woods has been involved in a single car crash (again). The jaws of life were employed to remove him from his vehicle and he’s currently recuperating. It’s widely assumed that his storied golf career will be impacted by his injuries. The cause for the accident is not known at this time. (This is my serious tone. How did I do?!)
* While we’re here in booze news: a 105-year old woman survived COVID while in a nursing home. Double wow! But wait, it gets better. She credits her health (and extremely long lifespan) to eating nine gin-soaked raisins every day. I don’t know about the veracity of this, but I guess that certainly is one way to start your day! Meanwhile, the sure route to health remains washing your hands, double masking, and getting that vaccine as soon as it’s your turn. Count the gin as a bonus!
* Hey, hey, hey! I finally did that deep dive on the recent Bachelor controversy I’ve been promising you. There’s still so much more I plan on writing and addressing, but we can get started here.
It’s been a busy week and there’re still a million more stories to I’d love to cover, but we’ll call it for today. I could write about this stuff until the cows come home, but there is laundry to fold and a stray cat to save! Until next time, my friends. Thank you for visiting – please share and be sure to come back soon. Stay safe in the meantime. xo
I will leave you with an ode to why proofreaders are important. Someone surely got fired yesterday - but man, they went out in a blaze of glory!