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Hot Thoughts on Selling Sunset

We've already established that Chrishell Stause is the star of Selling Sunset (check out my dishy post on her jerky ex here). But what about her "coworkers"? Read on for a few thoughts about what makes this crazy cast so damn watchable!

* But whooooo told Christine Quinn that the white blonde Crystal Gayle hair was a good idea? And whyyyyyy is she so committed to it? She is beautiful (if you like the “groomed within an inch of your life” look, which, if you go by Instagram standards, is apparently the only acceptable look for women these days) – but OMG you guys, I want her to cut her hair so badly! It reminds me of a girl in my high school who wore a pony tail every single day. I used to obsess over it – will today be the day she wears her hair down? It never was. We graduated without me knowing what this person looked like without her hair slicked back. It still haunts me. (I don’t remember her name, otherwise I’d assuage my curiosity and look her up on Facebook. And that’s saying a lot since I fucking hate Facebook. Alas, it will have to remain a mystery.) It’s the same with Christine – there’s a different hairstyle out there that would surely compliment her more, but I have a feeling we may never see it.

* Speaking of Christine, she plays the villain to the hilt and I legit dislike her, so kudos on doing a good job? I mean, yes – it would be boring if everyone got along and everything was peachy keen (what does that say about our society? I’ll leave that for another day!) – however, while I appreciate her efforts, it doesn’t mean I full on don’t want to throttle her. Christine claims it’s due to poor editing – I claim it’s due to poor form! Sorry, but Quinn comes off as shallow and as Mean Girly as they come, and this interview solidifies her vibe for me. But acting like an entitled asshole is TV currency, so I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of her in the future! (Btw, was anyone else as bummed that Queer Eye’s Karamo Brown guest spot on Selling Sunset’s Season 3 highlighted his friendship with Quinn? Noooo, Karamo – you’re supposed to be the nice one!)

* Mary! Where to start with Mary Fitzgerald? Despite rampant favoritism, courtesy of ex-boyfriend/brokerage owner Jason Oppenheim, Mary seems like a pretty decent person. One thing you can say for her: she is loyal. You can count on her to stand up for her man and her friends (even if it seems like she can’t unhinge her jaw. Does that freak anyone else out?) – she’s the most vocal about coming to Chrishell’s aide when Stause’s douchy ex-husband dumps her out of the blue. Most of the gals are so jelly of Chrishell, and the women who are jealous happen to be on Team Christine. Coincidence? History tells us no! Anyway, despite being the teacher’s pet, Mary continues to delight, and I think her marriage to hottie Romain might be the real deal. Now, when will she divulge her real age? Because 39? Come on.

* Heather Rae Young. For the rest of my life, I will never not laugh at her insistence that the paparazzi were even remotely interested in following her and fiancé (now husband) Tarek El Moussa. There’s no way every tabloid mention wasn’t placed directly by them. Sources, my ass. Also, her Wikipedia page lists “Playboy Playmate of the Month” as an award. EGOT? Make that EGOTPPM!

* Pregnant cutie Maya Vander brings the least drama to the show, and subsequently is the one who seems like she might actually be working as a legit real estate agent. Which is refreshing! And boring. Bless her heart. I love her and appreciate the scant balance her presence brings to the show, but it might be time to commit to life in Florida full-time. (A fate I would wish on no one, but that is where her husband and children live, so in this case it makes sense.)

* Davina needs to take a long walk off a short pier, and take Christine with her!

* And, of course, we can't close (see what I did there? Haha) without mention Brett & Jason! We wouldn't have a show if these twinkly twins didn't have a serious knack for real estate or the business savvy to stack their brokerage with a bevy of beauties. Rumor has it that Brett has left to start his own firm, so it will be interesting to see how that drama plays out (and who might be leaving with him?). In the meantime, will Jason ever get over Mary? My guess, based on his moondog stares, is a firm no. Boys always want what they can't have...

When will we see Season 4? Or, for that matter, new content from anyone, regarding anything? The odds aren’t in our favor as COVID rages on unchecked (JFC, please wear your masks!), but I know I’m in good company when I say that I’ll be counting the days until Selling Sunset quenches my reality TV thirst again! In the meantime, I think a rewatch is in order…


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