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I Just Finished Firefly Lane & I'm Still Asking Myself, "WTF?"

Of my many (many) pandemic binges, nothing has struck a chord quite like Netflix’s Firefly Lane. The 10-part series, featuring Katherine Heigl and Sarah Chalke, is delightfully bizarre, never quite finding its home, despite being named after the street the “girls” grew up on. I’m still trying to digest what I just experienced, but here’re a few thoughts about this Beaches-lite miniseries. Did I love it? I still don’t know, but I think I must because I already can’t wait for Season Two. (Which better come, because – no spoilers – it ends with several cliffhangers.) It's weird. Yet, would I recommend it? Abso-fucking-lutely! Read on:

1. How much money do these people make?! I get that Tully Hart (Heigl) would have a super sleek, super expensive downtown Seattle loft because she’s a famous daytime TV talk show host. (Much like James Kennedy of Vanderpump Rules used to bill himself as “the white Kanye,” Tully is the “white Oprah,” blatantly ripping off Oprah’s famous gift giveaway segment.) So, Tully’s living arrangement checks out. But what in the holy hell is Johnny Ryan’s salary?! Johnny acts as the producer for The Girlfriend Hour, Tully’s show. Meanwhile, Johnny’s wife/Tully’s best friend, Kate Mularkey (Chalke), is a stay-at-home mom. Nothing wrong with that, of course. But that, as we know, is unpaid gig. Leaving me to ask again, HOW MUCH DOES JOHNNY MAKE because this estate is freaking PALATIAL.

2. So… it’s winter, eh? In one hilariously incongruous scene, Kate is wearing a thin, cotton sleeveless peach-colored dress, yet much work is put into pointing out that it’s Christmastime. I mean, sure – you can wear a sleeveless dress to work and then bundle up when you leave. I acknowledge that this is something that is possible. But why would you want to? It’s winter in Seattle! It’s freaking freezing. (More so, it’s winter in British Columbia, where the series is actually filmed. Even colder!) Leaving me to ask: how high was the costume designer? Also, what a missed opportunity to dress the forever-nerdy Kate in an ugly Christmas sweater. You know the self-proclaimed Santa-fan must have a stack of them!

3. Did they do Beau Garrett dirty or what? Beau plays Cloud, Tully’s drug-addicted mess of a mother, who, despite her dependencies, is drop dead gorgeous. But the makeup team must have it out for her because when Cloud reemerges in adult Tully’s life, she is styled like witch. I get the “woo woo” natural vibe they’re trying to imbue with Cloud’s look, but are you telling me she wouldn’t have visited a hairdresser or beauty salon at all? Cloud was a self-obsessed narcissist! I get the effort it takes to make Garrett look older than Heigl (Beau is 38 to Katherine’s 42 in real life, so it’s already entertaining that Beau was cast as her mother), but methinks they went a bit overboard in transforming the former Elite model into a crone.

4. Speaking of Beau: though they don’t share scenes, she and former Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce costar Brandon Jay McLaren both have sizeable Firefly Lane roles. I don’t know why, but I find that cute! By the way, if you’re looking for another Brandon-binge, I’d highly recommend Harper’s Island. Man, that was good! Personally I'd skip Girlfriend’s Guide. That show really went off the rails, in my opinion, and I hated it by the end.

5. Yep, I mentioned Beaches earlier and that should tell you all you need to know about alternately rooting for (and raging at) each of the leads. In other words, grab a bottle of rosé and get a Zoom watch party going with your bestie: this is wine-mom-drama at its best. You’re the wind beneath my wings, even when you’re acting like an asshole!


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