Bradley Cooper is Bonkers & Larry is still not free from Ryan Phillippe - yep, it's Celebricate!

Celebricate: Celebrating Celebrities & the messes they make!

(Newsletter for the week of 4-1-24)

Hello and welcome to April where we are excited about our showers soon turning into flowers. (Here in Portland people are already predictably wildin’ out about the summer weather around the corner. I watched a man crouch in Crocs, taking photos of dandelions and I felt like maybe there’s actual landscaping one could be enjoying? But if weeds get you excited about spring, by all means – snap away! Who am I to say what brings someone joy?)

Also getting frisky: Celebrities! Let’s get into it.

You’ll be relieved to know that Bradley Cooper and Gigi Hadid are still a thing! It was rumored that Bradley would be debuting his girlfriend on the red carpet at the Oscars - instead, his date was his mother, Gloria. The cynical side of me believes Bradley was hoping his relationship with supermodel Gigi would help fuel his award campaign for Maestro, which Cooper directed, co-wrote, co-produced, and starred in. But when it became clear that Cillian Murphy had it in the bag to nab the Best Actor statue for his lead role in the much-lauded Oppenheimer, suddenly Bradley’s date with Gigi was shelved and his trusty mom was trotted out. Why hard-launch a relationship if there’s no big payout? What’s true love when there’re potential PR advantages?! Save that goodwill for a rainy day!

And indeed, he did. In an ill-advised interview with Dax Shepard on his podcast, Armchair Expert, Cooper confessed the following feelings about his newborn daughter, Lea:

"If I'm being honest, the first eight months, I'm like, 'I don't even know if I really love the kid,'" he said. "It's dope. It's cool. I'm watching this thing morph. (I'm) fascinated by it. Love taking care of it. (But) would I die if someone came in with a gun?"

Um… what the fuck? I personally would protect babies I didn’t even know if someone came at them with a gun. Pesky estrogen! Always doing anything for those goddamn infants. Anyway, later, after the 8-month mark when his feels finally kicked in, Bradley says:

But the star recalled realizing "all of a sudden" that he would die for Lea "no question." After becoming a parent, "Your DNA is going to tell you that there's something more important than you," he said. "The sheer amount of time that my daughter and I have hung out is bonkers," he added. "I just can feel the safety that she feels. It's so tangible. It's palpable. That is so fulfilling."

I guess we can chalk this up to a “better late than never” scenario. And I’m glad they’re spending a “bonkers” amount of time together. (Generally referred to as “parenting.” Celebrities – they’re just like us!) Needless to say, this was not the media attention he was hoping for.

But guess what? Days later, he and Gigi were seen smooching at a trendy NYC eatery! Apropos of nothing – except LOVE! What are we talking about now? Not a callous, oddly detached man who would not protect his own child until she somehow managed to grow on him. Not when we have this hot display of affection to chat about. Congrats to Bradley and Gigi on their debut. Press cycle complete!

Speaking of quality projects, the Ryan Phillippe Film Festival of Two is still very much in the works! Larry and I were recently discussing it when he mentioned that it would be cool to do a run of David Bowie movies. (We were talking about Sting vs. David Bowie, and the David Lynch version of Dune. Yes, it was a roundabout conversation. You had to be there.) I agreed that it would indeed be cool, and the way that man’s eyes lit up was adorable! You could literally see him smelling his freedom. Then I said, “Just kidding – it’s still Ryan Phillippe!” To which he replied, “Goddamn it.” If you’re asking why we can’t take turns when I was the one who chose Kevin Costner last time, then we most likely haven’t met. It doesn’t work that way! LOL. We are heading to the beach soon where I will have amassed a cache of DVDs from the library in which to kick us off. (At an undisclosed location, and within a murky timeframe. I’ve seen The Bling Ring. And yes, I said DVDs – not a typo! I don’t know why, but I love them. Bonus – coastal internet can be notoriously squirrely, and DVDs guarantee we’ll still have entertainment at our fingertips. What can I say? I like hedging my bets.) Stay tuned!

One thing we do very much agree on is Justin Timberlake. (One of my 3 nemesis! Nemesi? Nemeses! Got it. The other two of course being Tom Brady and Eric Clapton.) I mentioned that Justin had a new album out and Larry said, “He’s a pile of crap with feet.” Sir, you are correct. (Maybe for that, David Bowie is closer than you think. No, not really – it’s still Ryan Phillippe. But thank you for being on the right side of history!) Anyway, JT has an album out. I don’t know the name of it and will not listen to it, but my cursory perusing of other websites tells me that it’s a bomb and he’s lost his swagger. That’s all the research I need to do! Karma – it always arrives on time.

In “music we love” news – Cowboy Carter is out! Beyonce’s latest release takes on country in the most Bey Way ever, which is to say it’s: stunning, evocative, heartfelt, and layered with so much meaning that it will make you laugh and weep. Like everything else she’s ever done, I can’t get it out of my head. And I’m fine with that – the Queen is welcome to dominate my ears. Download it today!

In “books we love” news – Dr. Jill Biden will release her third children’s book in June, titled Willow, The White House Cat. You may be curious as to why I’m recommending this, and the answer will surprise you: My friend Nan just revealed that her daughter-in-law was tapped to illustrate the book by Jill herself! Acclaimed artist Kate Berube (aka Nan’s DIL!) got to work closely with Biden, in cooperation with the White House (as per the title might suggest – no spoilers!) – and it’s a thrill to know someone even tangentially related to this project. Congrats to Kate, and Nan!

In “books I liked okay that were later turned into bingeable trash TV” news – Liane Moriarty’s novel Apples Never Fall has been adapted into a 7-part limited series, streaming now on Peacock. You might know Liane’s name from the popular prestige HBO phenomenon, Big Little Lies. It would be hard for any show to live under the shadow of Big Little Lies but Apples Never Fall definitely suffers that fate. The only thing these two programs have in common is Moriarty – they remain very far apart in quality. However, I absolutely recommend going down this small little rabbit hole! Going down, if you go down with the right attitude that is. Think HBO, liberally infused with a massive amount of Lifetime. Add popcorn, wine, and the willingness to suspend all disbelief and you have a few nights of fun entertainment. Come for the ridiculous plot, stay for the Annette Bening/Sam Neill/Allison Brie/Jake Lacy smorgasbord! (Also, don’t sleep on Liane’s other novels. Sure, Apples Never Fall was not a favorite of mine. But her other books are outstanding, and she remains one of my favorite writers.)

Things that are delighting me:

1.     The library! See above. Also, don’t forget about access to Hoopla and Kanopy – two excellent streaming services that are free to library cardholders!

2.     Somebody Feed Phil – a peaceful, informative travel and food series, hosted by the lovely Phil Rosenthal. It’s our happy place “dinner” show. I love seeing the world through Phil’s eyes, and I think you might like it too.

3.     The Yummy Vegan – speaking of food: you don’t have to be vegan to get excited about this website. So much inspiration for delicious, innovative, quick-n-easy meals for everything from single servings to parties. Check it out! (I put a reminder in my calendar at the top of every month to log in and “see what’s cooking.” Or you can sign up for their newsletter, if you want to get official.)

4.     I was lucky enough to catch Sarah Clarke recently and OMG, I cannot wait to get to see her perform again! The way I sat in my booth and openly wept while laughing because I was so moved (crying in public at a bar is a lane I haven’t been in since college) was just everything. She’s on tour now – check her out!

5.     A huge thank you to my friend Erin, who just sent me this link that includes a 29 page PowerPoint link about the rumored fling between Jack Antonoff and Lorde and you obviously need to drop everything and read it right now! (After finishing my newsletter, and recommending this to everyone you know, of course.)

That’s it for this round. See you soon, peeps! Xo

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Meanwhile, I'm wishing you the confidence of: the marketing director and/or graphic designer that created this image and thought, "Yes! This. This is the one." Live bold, Baby Belly Belt! (Also, Amazon - can we please have a word? Not sure why you are putting this in my "recommended" algorithm. You've got the wrong woman! Thank you for the laugh though.)