The Grammys were historic, but for all the wrong reasons. And is J-Lo still getting married? Plus: police are catching up with all the gossip and are finally investigating Armie Hammer. Um, hello! Is now an appropriate time to say, “I told you so”? Let’s get to it!
* First up: let’s gab about J-Lo. It’s no secret that the gorgeous superstar has crap taste in men – most recently fiancé A-Rod taking the cake with an alleged cheating scandal during quarantine. Jennifer and Alex have had a rocky engagement, and many thought they’d split after rumors surfaced that Alex had been carrying on an Instagram “friendship” with Bravo’s Southern Charm cast member Madison LaCroy. (Yes, because that is what grown, engaged men do – reach out to find new pals on social media. Just for friendship, of course! *Clears throat loudly.*)
But the split never came, and the rumors died down. All seemed well in Lopez/Rodriguez land. Fast-forward to this week when news hit that the two were indeed done. Ah-ha! My thought was that media-savvy J-Lo waited until the LaCroy gossip died down before calling it quits with A-Rod. Patience is a virtue, and no more so than waiting it out until the storm has passed so that a reality star C-lister can be robbed of her day in the sun. Jennifer has been at this a long time – she’s too smart to have her named tied to an undeserving interloper. If Jenny from the Block is going to go through a split, it’s going to be on her own terms.
I was excited about this – she’d outwitted the other woman and was leaving a jerk in the dust. But I celebrated too soon! This week, the challenged duo released statements claiming everything is fine! Silly me. Why wouldn’t it be? Of course, they are living separately, as couples do. A recent press release claims:
“The two are also physically separated right now. "She's working in the Dominican Republic, and he's in Miami so it's tough seeing each other, especially with quarantining and COVID," the source told the publication, adding, "but they want to try to stay together."
Yeah, blame Covid (and not his wandering wang). Like the 1% didn’t receive their shots ages ago, nor do they have private jets at their disposal to skip any quarantine requirements. But, okay – let’s go with that. For now. Stay tuned!
* The Grammy Awards happened this past weekend, and the broadcast was surprisingly well-done, give the challenges they had to surmount. The pluses: Trevor Noah was an outstanding host (warm, engaging, super funny) and the set was beautiful. In addition, there was a small outdoor stage for winners to accept their statues and audience members were all wearing masks. A great message, all around! Plus: the elusive Bey & Jay made a surprise appearance, with Beyoncé making history as the performer with the most Grammy-wins, male or female, of all time. (Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s daughter is already on her way: Blue Ivy is the second-youngest winner of a Grammy, earning a statue for her part in Beyoncé’s Brown Skin Girl.) Oh! And the fashion, fashion, fashion! All outstanding. Really, this show was quite joyful to watch.
The cons: Just about everything else. The embattled organization looked great on paper this round – the winners were diverse and slanted heavily towards females. But was it merely out of convenience? Just last year, former Grammy chief Neil Portnow was relieved of his post after he said that women “needed to step up” if they wanted to garner the coveted statues when questioned why so few ladies were winning awards. That started a firestorm of controversy, with many calling for Portnow’s resignation. (Myself included. The rampant sexism that was allowed to flourish under his watch still fills me with rage.) Mr. Portnow was allowed to finish out his full term before being replaced by Deborah Dugan. Unfortunately, the thrill of having a female at the helm was short-lived, as Dugan’s tenor was extremely tumultuous, and she was let go in short order. Soon after, Dugan leveled allegations of rape against Portnow, claiming that he had sexually assaulted a singer and that the Academy was aware. Ms. Dugan was in the process of suing her former employers and it was set to be a huge story. It soon fell out of the press cycle when the pandemic hit, and all’s been quiet on that front since. (Were they hoping we'd just forget? Not when there's a bored housewife on the case! Send me your grudges - I will catalog them for you.)
So… now that we’re up to speed, back to the show. Yes, a ton of women claimed awards in almost all of the top categories. (All hard-earned and well-deserved – I'm not wanting to take away these accolades from anyone!) However, I can’t help but think that it feels a little hollow after last year. What better way to take the heat off than to go overboard on righting all of your wrongs in one swoop? History was made, but not for all the right reasons. Will next year find them back to their old tricks, or will they maintain this outstanding (and long-awaited) precedent? Let’s hope 2022 brings us a happier answer.
* Why yes, Armie Hammer is still embroiled in scandal – thanks for asking! The disgraced actor has been laying low in the Cayman Islands since multiple allegations of abuse and sexual assault surfaced against the once sought-after star. This extremely disturbing story continues to unfold, including a long-standing family history of nefarious activities, starting with his great grandfather on down. I guess it’s a case of nature vs. no nurture, in this instance.
Anyway, now authorities have finally joined the story. It’s recently been reported that L.A. police are investigating Hammer for sexual assault. Here’s hoping there’s a break in tradition and a man actually gets punished for his actions. That would be unique! There’s more to this story – but it’s just too icky, so let’s move on for now. (If you want, you can read the timeline of his fall here.) Yay to being in charge of my own column – woot!
* Alert: you can now buy a sage-green air fryer, courtesy of Drew Barrymore’s new line of kitchen appliances. The thing you didn’t know you needed, in a trendy color, fronted by an adorable actress? Yes, sign me up! Actually, too late for me – I already have one in cherry red. (Not Drew approved! How will I live?!) But, oh – I would sign up for sage green in less time than it takes to make kale chips. If you don’t know the joy of the air fryer, I highly recommend getting acquainted with this surprisingly useful device. It’s healthy snacks masquerading as junk food; goodies without guilt – and who doesn’t want that? Come out of quarantine with your cravings satiated and looking hot. No, this isn’t an infomercial! Just passing on something that makes me happy. Making up for talking about Armie Hammer? Maybe! Seriously, check this out. Trust me. I mean, who can argue with creating treats where you can control the amount of oil, salt, and preservatives? It's a no-brainer. Take a look at some of my favorite recipes here.
* Hey, hey, hey – the Oscar nominations have been announced! It looks to be a very interesting and groundbreaking year. I can’t wait to see what they have in store for us – the Oscars have the “luxury” of being the last of the award shows, with the most time to prepare (and probably the most vaccinated attendees), so it will be interesting to see what they pull off. Honestly, they have a lot to live up to after the Grammys presented such a successful broadcast (despite all the behind-the-scenes ugliness). Check out the list of nominees here and get ready to chat more about this in the coming weeks! (And don't forget to mark your calendars - the ceremony airs Sunday, April 25th on ABC.)
* We’re still unraveling the fallout from the interview between Harry, Meghan, and Oprah. The latest? Kate, wife of Will /sister-in-law to Harry & Meg, is super embarrassed her lie has been revealed. Kate’s team has insisted for almost two years that Meghan made Kate cry at a fitting leading up to Meghan’s big wedding day. Welp, it turns out it was actually the other way around – it was Kate who made Meghan weep – and someone is blushing with shame. I can’t say I’m sad about it! This sounds like a silly little thing, but this storyline was used to gaslight and bully Meghan, marking her with an egregious stereotype. It was very gross and cruel. Meanwhile, Kate’s earned herself the new nickname of “Karen” Middleton. But don’t tell William – he’s still “incandescent with rage” at his brother’s perceived betrayal. Perhaps he needs to revisit the “Rose bush” to calm him down?
* Have you reached maximum streaming? I'm still finding things, most recently something on Amazon Prime called Muffin Top: A Love Story... and we didn't turn it off. Was it cute or are our standards so wildly skewed at this point that we've lost our god damn minds? I'm going to with "a mix of both" on this one! Meanwhile, I've got thoughts on a legit blockbuster from back in the day. Check out my rebuttal of A Quiet Place and find out why there're more holes in this plot than Swiss cheese!
* Ah, we’ve reached the end – too soon! But friends, I’m honored you’ve visited. Please spend time to hold Atlanta in your heart. And, if you're able, please consider donating to one of these causes to help our friends in the Asian community. This scary and disgusting rise in violence must be stopped, and we each need to do everything in our power to put an end to Asian hate. Finally, please remember to treat yourself well – you're a star! Until next time! xo