Hello to everyone excited to luxuriate in your PJ’s on Thanksgiving! Don’t even try to pretend you’re going to dress up, now that you’re free from the shackles of polite society. (Actually, I lied! I will be dressing up. You guys – I’m even going to put on makeup and – stay with me here – shoes. I know. I might even venture as far as my patio to show off for the squirrels and blue jays in my backyard. It’s gonna be craaaaazy.)
Seriously though, I hope you do what it takes to feel good and have fun on Turkey (Tofurky) Day – as long as it involves staying responsibly socially distant, socializing with those only in your immediate pod, and that your fancy outfit is topped off with a mask. (If you’re even remotely considering a risky holiday gathering, watch this video from Rachel Maddow first and see if you change your mind. Please change your mind!) Let’s compromise now so we can kick COVID to the curb in 2021! Now, on with the gossip.
* Regular readers know that we kick off every column with a DomLil update. Yes, the most exciting celebrity gossip to distract us from this 2020 shit show involves Dominic West and Lily James’ alleged fling in Rome. Pics of the pair canoodling quickly made their way back to West’s wife, Catherine Fitzgerald, safely ensconced in her castle. (Yes, she owns a castle! And the castle naturally has its own Insta. I wonder if it Finstas as an Airbnb?) Dominic has been scrambling ever since – though to what is not clear. Mixed reports continue to fly as to whether he’s trying to repair his marriage or if he’s confessed to catching the feels for Lily.
It all appears to be in a state of stasis this week. (Either way, Thanksgiving is surely going to be a cringe-fueled “affair” at the West/Fitzgerald abode. Here’s to ripping through the reserves of that wine cellar!) Though my favorite sliver of news involves a delivery driver who claims West confessed to having an affair while he dropped off a lawnmower that Dominic purchased off eBay. Naturally; because these are sentences we can read in 2020! Nothing is off the table.
Matt Vessey claims he drove 240 miles to drop off a “sit on lawnmower” and was confronted with a gaggle of paparazzi. (West has reportedly stiffed Vessey on the delivery fee. Not the only thing he’s stiffed lately!) Confused, Matt asked Dominic what was going on. Reportedly Dominic pulled the old “don’t you know who I am card” and replied, “Haven’t your heard? It’s quite serious. I’ve had an affair.” Matt replied, “Mate. I don’t know who you are.” You can find me LOLing about this for the rest of the day.
* The British Royal Family is complaining about Netflix’s The Crown again, claiming numerous historical inaccuracies regarding season four plot points. Several members of “The Firm” have been publicly grousing to the press, including William and Charles attempting to denounce the series. So… the BRF is okay with mounting a racist attack on Harry’s wife and essentially running the two out of town. And the Queen will defend son Albert and his decades-long friendship with a child-trafficking sex offender until the day she dies. But it’s a television show that’s got them up in arms and publicly defending themselves? Got it.
* Sad split! Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis have reportedly called it quits on their 8-year relationship. The couple have two children, and, despite a nearly decade-long engagement, the duo never actually wed. (Um… that’s telling. Perennially engaged = red flag.) The former couple debuted the news in a classic “Friday Dump,” hoping to bury the reveal over the weekend. Olivia’s career has recently ramped up – she’s on deck to direct no less than four movies in the coming years. (This is fantastic news – we need more female directors! Speaking of: check out all things wonderful about women in film over at The CherryPicks. Like tomatoes, only sweeter.) Rumor has it scheduling was part of the schism, as Olivia is busier than ever. Jason, no slouch in the career department, also remains in demand. (I’ve been hearing rave reviews about Ted Lasso. It’s next up on my very full binge-watching schedule!)
Meanwhile, I guess they’re putting their running shoes to rest. (Olivia is famously quoted as saying she and Jason had “sex like Kenyan runners.” I have never figured out what this means. Really fast? I don’t know, but she seemed satisfied. More so than with her ex-husband, whom she claimed made her vagina “die.” Here’s to a refreshed punani for Wilde in the future!)
* In more female director news (I can’t get enough!), Angelina Jolie has signed on to helm her next film, Unreasonable Behavior, about famed war photographer Don McCullin. Tom Hardy is set to coproduce. Can he also coproduce Jolie in bed? The two of them together would be hot, hot, hot!
Speaking of Angelina in bed, one person who’s famously lost that honor is Brad Pitt. The two are still wrangling over their split, with divorce proceedings lasting longer than the actual marriage at this point. They are due back in court soon, with Brad recently winning the latest round to keep their appointed judge. (Angie wanted a new one, citing concerns of bias.) Pitt followed up his triumph with some photo ops of him doing charity work. (Not that his heart isn’t it the right place, but timing being what it is, this is “sweetly” convenient. Happy holidays, Minivan Majority!)
* More fun on the Netflix front! The streaming giant continues to crush it, with the latest coup: getting You season 3 back in production. Penn Badgley is absolutely stunning and terrifying in this role. He was already iconic as Dan Humphrey in the forever-excellent Gossip Girl, but he transcends to another acting level here. It’s been a bummer seeing the pandemic catch up so quickly with our entertainment. As much as I’m a massive proponent of mask-wearing, I’ve hated seeing it on TV. I just want a glimpse of (former) normal life – wah!!! (One show that’s navigating this balance perfectly is Super Store. A must-watch, IMO.) But mask fashion will likely line up perfectly with You’s super creep. It would be hard to make Joe Goldberg scarier, but this could do the trick.
* I’m currently obsessed with Common’s new album, A Beautiful Revolution Pt. 1. It’s on constant Tidal rotation. I'm also stoked for BTS’s Be. I’ve got to get more familiar with the biggest band in the world, posthaste. And I don’t care if it’s a summer track, BlackPink’s "Ice Cream" is still how I start most of my mornings. I dance in the shower to it. Perfect start to the (long, endless) days!
* All I want for Christmas is everyone I know to volunteer to phone bank for Jon Ossoff! We’ve got Biden/Harris on their way to the White House (wooooot!), but to make their tenure effective, we need a Senate majority and this Georgia nominee is our best bet to turn that floor blue. (We can’t get a majority, but this would make it an even split, with Kamala Harris calling the ties.) This Georgia Senate race isn’t just a state thing, it’s for all of us, so please consider doing what you can to help (time and/or money-wise).
* Happy, happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! Stay safe and healthy!
There won’t be a column next Friday – I’ll be dragging my Christmas decorations down from the attic – but I’ll see you back here December 4th to celebrate Jay Z’s birthday!
(And be sure to drop by before then for more film reviews and other fun posts!) xo