Well, I know you're all dying to hear about how our viewing of Ishtar went, and it will surely be a surprise to no one that it was exactly as horrible as you'd assume. There is a reason it's still widely considered one of the worst movies of all time and that's because it is legitimately awful.
Am I wrong to feel extra traumatized that it was written and directed by a woman? Like, how did this happen? I am still reeling. Worse, it made me miss Kevin Costner and his nasally, deadpan delivery. I found myself turning to Larry and exclaiming, "At least with a Kevin Costner movie, there is a plot!" So, we're returning to Costner's warm embrace this weekend with Dances with Wolves. I suspect it is the salve I need. Stay tuned!
I also got to visit with a friend in my backyard recently. Fancy, I know! (I'm one shot in, so caution still abounds.) Anyway, my pal shared a story from when she was moving. One of the chores she tasked her husband with was cleaning out their freezer. He took everything out, put it in a cooler on the corner, posted it on Craigslist, and had someone come pick up the free food bounty.
Later my friend said to her husband, "Great idea. But where is the placenta?" Yes, they'd been saving the placenta from their child's birth in the freezer and apparently it wasn't labeled - because I guess when it's just the two of you, you both know which ziplock baggie contains the tree of life. Or not! Because her husband forgot that they were storing said organ and put it in the cooler. Needless to say, someone here in Oregon got quite the surprise!
My pal calls it "a very Portland story." I agree, and I can't stop going over it. It's a shame this didn't happen in L.A. or New York - I can't help thinking someone from the Real Housewives franchise would know exactly what to do if they found a stray placenta. (They're highly coveted for anti-aging skin care.) I call for Sonja Morgan to relocate to the Pacific Northwest!
In other news: As you know, Celebricate is on hold while I work on another project. But I am keeping tabs on JLo and Ben Affleck, because I am still me. Are they dealing with each other? Spidey senses point to yes! I also had another reader request an update on Jax's firing from Vanderpump Rules. This requires an investigation and I shall report back...
I hope you enjoyed your weekly update! And I hope you are all staying safe and well. Get both doses of the vaccine, and be kind to yourself and others. You are worth it!
Also, my ongoing offer still stands: have something you want to share or promote? Or just want some love from this newsletter? There is more than enough to go around! Drop me a line - I'm happy to share this space and help with word of mouth. xo