We kicked off the week here in Oregon with no heat and no power after our magical snowfall turned to ice hell. But that pales in comparison to Texas, where it’s getting direr by the day. Thank goodness Ted Cruz is there to help. Oh, wait! Not so much. Let’s get to it.
* This week brought an epic snowstorm to Texas. Nothing to see here, global warming. It’s just winter! Meanwhile, try telling that to poor Texans who are freezing, starving, and, in some cases, without clean water as pipes burst all over the state. But thank goodness for leadership! If you’re looking for someone to drink a margarita with, that is. Yep, good old Republican senator Ted Cruz got a jump on spring break and took off for Cancun amidst his state’s historic weather emergency. You mean to tell me the man who wore a "Come & take it" mask to the Inauguration to represent Texas and colonialism over Mexico fled from Texas... to go to Mexico? Give the man a break. Geez. How else do you vacay after helping incite an insurrection?! You gotta take a load off after all that hard work.
Fun update! It turns out he was not trying to sneak away for a vacation, you guys! He was merely dropping his daughters off for a playdate. So, Ted Cruz, who supported Trump in calling Mexicans rapists and wanted to help build a wall to "protect Texas," DROPPED HIS DAUGHTERS OFF IN MEXICO so that he can "be a good dad." Well, that explains everything. Makes perfect sense. I’d also like to state while we’re here, Ted Cruz is not the Zodiac Killer. Repeat: not a serial killer! Just a selfish, gaslighting pig.
* Can we talk about love for a minute? That sounds nice! In happy news, Prince Harry and Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle have announced baby number two is on the way! Markle, who suffered a miscarriage in 2020, is said to be thrilled to be pregnant again so soon. She and Harry spoke publicly about their painful loss, as well as their desire to have more children. (Pearl-clutchers in the Royal Family are said to be less-than-thrilled with their openness. Emotions: so not stiff upper lip!) The couple revealed the news with a gorgeous black & white photo, via Instagram, on Valentine’s Day. Turns out we won’t have to wait long to meet the adorable new bundle – rumor has it Markle is due at the end of spring. One thing we can safely assume – no tacky gender reveal party for these two! We’ll surely get a good scoop though – Oprah herself has snagged an exclusive interview with Harry & Meg. Will they spill tea about the Queen? Not a chance, but hopefully a little shade will be thrown brother Will’s way…
Update: Liz & The House of Petty (aka Queen Elizabeth and the British Royal Family) announced today that she's stripping Harry & Meg of their royal patronages. That means they're not allowed to volunteer for the causes she assigned them, but they can volunteer anywhere else in the world that they wish. Ouch, I guess? I can't imagine why Harry would want to divorce himself of a racist/classist system run by one person with total power based on birth order. What's wrong with that guy?
* I am an absolute sucker for “Before they were famous” roundups and this one is particularly entertaining! Brad Pitt on Dallas and George Clooney on The Golden Girls?! No, it’s not a fever dream; these things happened and more. A quick scroll will give you a big smile right here. (Also, I just spied one of my own during a Hulu binge – Jax Taylor, pre-Vanderpump Rules, on Desperate Housewives. He plays a cheesy guy in a bar trying to pick up some chicks. Typecasting!)
* I’ve been thinking a lot about the situation within Bachelor Nation. I know – I am sure you’re losing sleep over it too! The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise is involved in a very layered, long history filled with racism and sexism, which takes place on a national platform, so it actually is important. Not just roses and hot tubs anymore, people! Twitter has been working to help dismantle this system from the inside out and we’ve finally had some success in getting host/producer Chris Harrison to step down (for now, and hopefully for good). While the genesis is painful, the shifting needle has been exhilarating. I’m still working on a bigger post, but I’ve written about some past allegations here. What’s your guilty pleasure and how do you reconcile entertainment mixed with trauma? For example, I’m thinking of: Joss Whedon’s toxic behavior and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Reality television and just about everyone. Kayne West’s music vs. Kayne West in a MAGA hat. Love the art, not the artist – but at what cost and where is the line? We’re still trapped at home – let’s talk about it! A deep dive is on the way.
* Billionaires are people too! That’s Salma Hayek’s opinion, and she’s happy to share it. Salma was recently a guest on Dax Shepherd’s podcast (that's a weird pairing) and revealed her husband, François-Henri Pinault, is both mega-wealthy and really nice. What a feat! (You might not know her hubby, but you’ve surely heard of his empire: Pinault owns Christie’s Auction House, Gucci, Kering, the Chateau Latour winery, a soccer team, and a contemporary art museum in Paris. To name just a few things.) The actress went on to claim she believes it is “discrimination” to assume all rich white billionaires are terrible. Finally! Finally, someone is sticking up for rich men. Here I was, fretting about their feelings. And along comes Salma; a true heroine, speaking truth. I don’t know about you, but I will certainly be sleeping more soundly tonight, safe with this knowledge.
* What is in the water these days? First Dominic West, then A-Rod, and even Ioann Gruffudd have been plagued by cheating scandals and now it’s The Crown director Peter Morgan’s turn. The head of Netflix’s prestige jewel has been with X-Files beauty Gillian Anderson for four years (who, coincidentally does a stunning turn as Margaret Thatcher on The Crown). The two recently broke up in December, when Morgan stepped out with another head-turner, Jemima Goldsmith. (I remember Jemima from her fling with Hugh Grant. Reportedly it was Hugh’s ex, Elizabeth Hurley, who had to break it to Jemima that Hugh was never, ever going to marry her. Liz would know – Hugh and Liz were famously engaged for 13 years before finally breaking it off!)
I hope Jemima isn’t suffering from whiplash – a month after their relationship began, Peter went galloping back to Gillian, who graciously reunited with him after his very public indiscretion. Why? That’s the question that will ring on, most likely to remain unanswered. In the meantime, Goldsmith and Grant are both single. Maybe a reunion is in order?
* It’s not just gossip here, though this does tend to be the most fun! That said: I reviewed a film, White Lie (no, it’s not François-Henri Pinault exposé!), this week and you can read that here. I also wrote a painful piece that I’m really proud of, available here. It’s not an easy read, but it is a short one, so I hope you take chance on it. It’s painful! It’s a tough subject! But I wrote it. Great sales pitch! Haha. Well, now we know why I freelance, at home, alone. If I can solve one mystery here today, this is it.
* It’s time for another Pandemic Pick! In need of a laugh? After this week’s riotous column, my guess is yes! One of my absolute favorite things is the ongoing show, Live Comedy on Zoom. Can you guess what it is? It’s a very clever name! I can’t recommend this enough: hosts Ronn Vigh, Drew Harmon, & Liz Stone put together FREE comedy showcases every Sunday and Wednesday night with headlining performers that would normally be touring – again for FREE – and these are topnotch events. (Free, yep. But there is a way to donate and I recommend that you do so, if you’re at all able to. These are a lot of work to produce and proceeds are split evenly amongst the talent.) Come for the show, stay for the after-party – the regulars are almost as entertaining as the comedians! Easy-peasy RSVP here.
* Lets take a moment to wish Yoko Ono a very happy 88th birthday! The icon celebrated February 18th, but that shouldn't stop us from ringing the bells in her honor all weekend. Click here for some of her most inspiring quotes, and start with one right now, "Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you'll start to see a big change in your life." Forever inspiration from one incredible woman. (Random note: Yoko Ono follows me on Twitter! I know - I'm confused by this as well. But honored! Hey, she likes it, so maybe you want to get in on this action? Shameless plug alert - you can join Yoko and follow me here. :)
Thanks for stopping by; you stay classy, San Diego! I think you know what I’m going to say: wear those masks, two if you’re feeling sassy. Treat yourself well – mental health keeps the physical wealth a-flowing. And come back soon – I love writing this and it means the world to spend a little time with you! xo